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8. Notes on obsession (a bit of a selfish explanation)
August 31, 2009, 4:00 pm
Filed under: Literature

I should further explain #6.  I was a little excited when I wrote that.  1) Excitement leads to not saying much more than “I’m excited!” 2) I’m further along in the book 3) “what’s near and dear to my heart” are the issues that Larsson brings up.  And they are difficult issues.

When I was  an unassuming pre-teen, I began reading murder mystery novels.  Agatha Christie, Dorothy Sayers, Ruth Rendell.  Eventually, I’d move on to Anne Rule, Elizabeth George, Val McDermid, Minette Walters, Mary Willis Walker.  For me, these female authors had a way of leading you about and around the body, the dead body, through a cast of suspects, police, press, lawyers, and family. There was great relief when the case was solved, and while a life was burned out (maybe a few), you understood why and then there was justice.  The wrongs are not righted, but at least they are cut off.

Though, I must admit, I’ve never been as interested in justice as in finishing the story. (selfish,  yes.) I always want closure, to know that everything will be okay.  Characters will carry on. (very much an emotional reader)

Over time, I’ve gotten more interested in how the story is told.  How the author feeds the reader the information. Who the author is.  And with a book like The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I can’t help but notice Stieg Larsson. It helps to know he was a journalist.  It helps to know he had not published this before his death.  He may have written it for himself to process what he came to know.  Maybe.

He’s written a story of men who hate women.  But also a story of how women fight their way through this predicament, and don’t.  The violation of the female body (it’s pretty grotesque in Larsson’s story) is an old tale of which all women, it’s safe to say, are aware.  I’m the preventative kind of girl, and more times than i could count, I’ve taken immense  precaution.  Mostly in the form of  hiding, and in how I spend my time.

Which has also cut off – to a certain extent – my sense of freedom.  I recognize, this is all about perception, the reality I’ve created.  Not asking for sympathy here, but just naming what’s real to me.  It’s in the little things.  The way I dress, the way I speak, the way I walk, how I plan my day, the way I present Myself, and who I decide to trust.  Everyone has these set of circumstances. We often judge others by these little things.

So, these little things show up in the structures Jeffrey and I are creating for This could be it.  The movement, the storytelling, the blathering, the eating, the disembodied voice, and the awkward poses.   And this issue that Larsson brings up – how a certain type of woman fights through her predicaments – this is what I’m trying to do onstage. Except, it should be noted, the girl on stage is victim to nothing.  No huge trauma happens.  And while a murder story comes up, it is filtered through a girl’s reading of another author’s story. Much like this post, in fact.

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